Mistakes
We all make them
But sometimes mistakes lead to great downsides, and that makes us sad.
Mistakes are how we learn and grow, so we can do amazing things.
When you think about it, shouldn't you be thanking us?
We're sorry.
You're welcome.
It could be worse
We are working hard to make your life better.
But our competitor, Digivation, wants to ruin your life. Since
Digivation was founded 50 years ago, millions have died. Millions
more have become sad.
What's your problem Digivation?
Apologies:
Apology #821.
Because of recent concerns with our new racially indifferent motion sensors,
and debate over our new manual water fountains for those
with dark skin affected by this indifference,
we at Viridian would like to talk about diversity, and ask you
to celebrate the fact that our system does see Hispanics, Asians,
Pacific Islanders, and Jews.
Diversity
Just the thought of it makes us smile. We believe everyone
works best when they work together. Even if they're just
standing around.
Just like we enjoy varieties of food, we enjoy varieties of
people.
Even though we can't eat them. At Veridian Dynamics, we are
committed to a multi-ethnic workplace. You can shake on it.
We're Sorry
Apology #820.
Please stay safe when using any Veridian product, even the safest
looking ones.
Attacks from hornets have become
more frequent.
We can't be sure why these innocent people are being targeted, but
some have proposed that the link lies in the victims' use of our
perfume products.
This may not be true.
But it also could be true. In either case, we would like for our
customers to use a reasonable degree of caution when taking any
kind of action, including (but not limited to) using perfume.
Stay safe.
Be smart.
Live hornet free.
